I am an introvert. It means that all my thoughts and feelings are concealed inside. I have almost full control of my feelings and I keep them locked away. Does it mean I have no personality? Of course not, but I personally feel that not many people are willing to understand introverts. At face value, the outside world feel we are weirdos who must have some form of mental disability. We don't have a personality, treat us like we're simple and fail to understand our needs. I've experienced this quite a lot throughout my life. It's getting old. I feel people who don't understand are completely closed minded.
I have a poker face that's hard to read, I personally only found this out recently. It kind of saddened me when I did found out as everything began to make sense. I wasn't bullied when I was in school, instead people didn't try to get to know me and left me as an outcast. People spoke to you like you're stupid and it can still happen at the age I am. It's frustrating.
The amount of people who are like "I didn't know you liked that?!" both online and in the real world. Why should you know? I've not explicitly said so you don't need to sound so shocked. I haven't got a fixated mind on ONE thing. I only open up to people I trust. I feel that should be a treat that if I find you a worthy friend and I open up it means I have great respect. It's why I would rather have a couple of close friends than one hundred acquaintances who claim they are friends. "Can we be friends?" You never ask that question in reality, it just kind of happens so why do people ask it on here?
I'm one of those people that is very unlikely to shout at the top of my voice in a public area. I don't cry in public, I don't let myself go and I don't get angry publicly, I always have control. Why do I do it? I don't know, it's something I have always done and taught myself, even at an early age. I was the quiet kid in the class, I'm also the quiet worker at my work. I do talk, I'm not mute which is what people assume at first. I can have elaborate conversations and as we know I'm very opinionated. But I share my opinions to the right people.
This is where I get angry with society. I'm very good at judging people. I observe them to see "are they the right friend for me or will they screw me over?". Nine times out of ten I am correct. I'm not judging appearance, I'm judging actions and personality. So if I'm able to understand the needs to others why can't people do it with me? Previous friendships from schools, they liked to humiliate me and abuse my trust.
Even my ex boss, I never opened up to her as she was a horrible human being. So rather than make myself vulnerable, I'd keep that poker face on. She made me angry, laugh and cry, but I never showed it to her. The laughing was me laughing at her but I never did it directly to her because I know she'd be upset or angry by it, especially if she made a mistake. The odd moment I did let my true personality slide she'd be so shocked by it. Not because what was said, but because I showed a personality.
I don't walk around shouting "HEY! I'M A SANEK FAN! LOOK AT MEH ARTTTT!". I have a brain, an extremely active brain meaning I'm constantly thinking. Just because I don't show my feelings doesn't mean I don't have any. I express myself in my art and stories.
When I see or hear a short sighted comment about people who never express themselves outwardly I just think "are you stupid or something?". Introverts are deep thinkers and do cater to the needs of others but no one bothers with us. People also think we're welcome mats and never lash out. Best advice I can give is never try it. Just because we have a control of our feelings doesn't mean we're push overs. I'm not a yes woman. Friends, family and colleagues have noticed that and understand when I mean the word no.
People think we have a mental disability and are stupid. I firmly disagree. I don't have a mental disability. I think it's clever that introverts can control their feelings. I wouldn't recommend it as it is painful. I held back breaking down over something for three hours. I won't go into depth about the story but it was to do with my ex. I had to attend a class at college, a driving lesson to come home and just break down completely. I held that for three hours. I was driving also and the few times I wanted to stop the car and just scream but I didn't.
Maybe people both online and the real world should learn to understand introverts. We understand both introverts and extroverts and never outcast anyone. We have feelings too.